#39: Make Amends

This was one of the first things on my initial 40x40 to do list, so it’s ironic it took me 11 months to complete and until the end of this project to write about. That’s because it’s also the most personal of the experiences in this blog.

For 12 years I was blessed to have a very close friendship with a very special person. We shopped together, traveled together, celebrated holidays together and even successfully planned our families for our children to grow-up together.

But a few years ago, some things happened that tested our friendship. We grew apart. Well, even more than that, we grew apart with some anger and bitterness between us and we were both too stubborn to make amends. I’ve struggled a lot with that over the years because I do love her and miss having her in my life. I’ve thought about her often and wanted to reach out but lacked the courage and strength.

A few weeks ago we met for lunch where we talked emotionally and honestly about the past. We’ve talked a little since, emailed, texted and we’re even connected on Facebook again. They’re baby steps but also huge strides. I realize how incredibly important the relationships in our lives are and I’m embarrassed that I held a grudge for so long against someone who means so very much to me.

Not long before things went awry we had a girl’s night out to see a stage performance of Wicked. There’s a lyric in one of the show’s songs, For Good, that reminds me of our situation and my reflections on it now.

And just to clear the air 
I ask forgiveness

For the things I've done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know

There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore

While the 40x40 project inspired me to finally take the step to reconnect, I pray it’s only the beginning of a renewed friendship.