#12: Night at a Children's Hospital

The 40x40 project was intended to encourage me out of my comfort zone to try new things, meet new people and increase my overall knowledge. All of the experiences to date were fun opportunities to do just that, but this one is different. It certainly was not planned and definitely not fun, but (supporting my tagline above), it did somehow enrich my life, deepen my soul and reinforce my purpose.

Last week my daughter, Maya, dislocated and fractured her elbow while practicing at her cheer gym (ironically you can learn more about that in my recent tamale blog). She had an emergency reduction surgery the night of the accident to put her elbow back in place and a second surgery a few days later to insert a screw to correct the fracture. All went well, but they decided to keep her overnight to help control her pain. And that’s where my 40x40 experience comes in.

Certainly staying overnight at the hospital with a recovering child is something any mother would do and there is absolutely no place I would have been that night except by her side. But it was especially enlightening for me as a person who has built a career in patient experience. I work for The Beryl Institute, a thought leader and community of practice on improving patient experience in healthcare. While I build and promote resources to help our community improve the experiences of patients, families and caregivers, I’ve been blessed to have very few patient/family experiences myself. It’s amazing how your perspective changes when you’re sitting inside the hospital walls. So, for this 40x40 I’d like to take a different approach and share a few of the realizations I faced while caring for Maya.

• Patients (and those who love and care for them) are incredibly vulnerable in a healthcare setting. I think Maya and I are pretty confident in our regular routines, but we were a bit clueless at the hospital – even with simple things such as ordering meals and turning on the TV. More significantly, we were at the hands of the staff to know what medicines she should have, if her body was reacting as it should to the surgery and how to best control the pain. We had to trust the healthcare team. As a children’s hospital, I must acknowledge they had several things in place that helped Maya feel more comfortable. Volunteers brought her a stuffed lamb and they let her select from a fun collection of super soft blankets to use while there that she could also take home. The hospital even had a Build-a-Bear Workshop on site, which I believe was the key motivator in getting her walking around post-surgery.

• Healthcare workers are human. I think we often place doctors and nurses on pedestals in our minds assuming they should have perfect accuracy, bedside manners and responsiveness. While Maya had some great people caring for her, I was quickly reminded they were human. They had varied levels of experience, focus and relationship skills. As humans they also had their own lives that did have an impact on how they cared for my daughter – maybe stresses at home, conflict with co-workers or even their own health challenges. Regardless of how dedicated and professional, humans make mistakes. I came to appreciate all the checks and balances they implemented to help prevent that. At first I was a little disturbed by the redundant questions like “What is your name? Birthday? Any allergies?” But as I reminded myself the staff were each caring for multiple patients, I learned to appreciate their diligence to make sure everything matched up. That said, I do suggest they reconsider one phrase in their vernacular. From the time we registered for surgery until we left the next day, we had at least 10 people ask, “What are you here for?” That’s a perfectly fair question for someone showing up at the Emergency Department or having a random appointment at their physician’s office, but there is an expectation when you arrive somewhere for a scheduled surgery that they are expecting you and know why you’re there. I suggest a simple, “I see you are here for ______. Is that correct?” as an alternative as it would go a long way in giving patients confidence in their healthcare team.

• Patients need advocates. The vulnerability and realization that the staff treating Maya were human reinforced a point I hear a lot in my work – the idea that patients need advocates. A few years ago a co-worker’s husband was in the hospital and she refused to leave his side. As much as she respected the healthcare team caring for him, she realized no one had his best interest at heart as much as she did. She was there to be sure they gave him the right medicines, at the right time and in the right amounts. She kept a journal of his condition and symptoms to share with the doctor, and she was there to be sure he ate, had food choices he liked and any assistance he needed. After being in the hospital with Maya for just one night, I understood her point completely, and not just because Maya was 11. If I’m ever in the hospital, or my husband, parents or sister are, I hope we’ll have the ability to have a personal advocate by our side.

Maya was lucky that her hospital stay was short and she’s on the road to recovery. Being with her that night did enrich my life by giving me a more personal reflection on something I speak to everyday. And that reinforces my purpose, both as a mom caring for a child and a professional passionate about making the healthcare experience the best it can be for everyone. 

Experience #12 taught me lots, but I hope and pray the next 28 get back to planned fun, adventure and new encounters.

#11: Learn to Make Tamales

Tamale in Process

Learning to make tamales was on my original list for the 40x40 project. I love them but have always heard what a labor of love they are to make. I wanted to experience that for myself, so my husband and I signed up for a tamale class at Central Market.

We dropped the kids off for open tumbling at their cheer gym and were excited to enjoy a mini date at the cooking school. Once we got there, washed up and put on our aprons, the instructors introduced themselves and asked all of the participants to share why they joined the class. My answer was simple, “I’ve just always wanted to learn how to make tamales.”  The head instructor chuckled and responded, “Well, you’ll never want to make them again after this. They’re so not worth all of the effort.”

And with that, my enthusiasm was deflated. In my head I was thinking, “Can we please have our $120 back?” Seriously, I have no problem putting in a little effort for great food, but if that’s the instructor’s attitude, why do they even offer the class?

Anyway, I brushed it off and focused on learning the proper way to lay the corn husks, press the masa and add the chicken and pork mixtures. I was a little disappointed that much of the pre-work was already done since I really was hoping for the made-from-scratch experience, but I guess that was necessary given the two-hour time frame.

Rick enjoying the wine
and borracho beans

Once we prepared the tamales and the instructor took them to the steamer, the class gathered around a table where we were served wine and an appetizer of borracho beans. We listened to the teachers describe how they made the beans. Again, that was a little disappointing since I was expecting a hands-on class, but the flavors were so amazing that I quickly got caught up in reading the recipe and thinking about how I could replicate the taste at home…and that’s when the entire night changed.

I pulled out my phone and noticed a missed call and voicemail from the cheer gym. Maya had an accident on the trampoline. Of course as a parent there’s always an initial panic when you hear something like that, but in all honesty, I wasn’t overly concerned. Maya is a bit accident-prone and this wasn’t the first time we were contacted about an incident at cheer. I encouraged Rick to stay at the cooking school while I ran over to check things out.

Maya's disfigured arm...ouch!

It turned out to be a much bigger deal than I expected. Maya had actually dislocated and fractured her elbow. Needless to say I never made it back to tamale class. Instead we rushed from an urgent care clinic to Cook Children’s Hospital in downtown Fort Worth where at about 1 AM Maya had the first of several surgeries to repair her elbow.

Rick stayed thru the end of the class since he was stranded there without a car and met up with us on the way downtown. At least he was able to bring home samples from the class and I did get to try one of the tamales the next day.

Experience #11 definitely did not go as planned. I did learn a little and the tamales were good, but in hindsight I wish we had stayed home and had a family movie night on the couch that evening. It could have saved a lot of pain, drama and expense.

#10: Dinner at a Food Truck Park

I remember hearing about the emergence of food trucks a few years ago from a hip co-worker. I’m pretty sure I scrunched up my nose as I had always thought of food trucks as the school cafeteria equivalent for construction workers. But she assured me that had changed…food trucks had become a cool way for gourmet entrepreneurs to test concepts. Three years later my hubby, who works in downtown Dallas, enjoys walking to Clyde Warren Park or Winspear at least once a week with coworkers to go to “the trucks”.

I watched the food truck trend solidify in TV shows and movies and even started seeing food truck reviews in newspapers and magazines. As excited as I was by the cultural shift, my crazy work and family life commitments prevented me from partaking in the experience…until recently.

 My husband and I had driven to Houston with our two dogs to drop our kids off at my parents for a week of summer fun. We arrived back in DFW around 7PM on a Sunday evening, starving but unsure where we could grab dinner with two dogs in tow. I remembered seeing a friend’s Facebook post about an evening at a FW foodtruck park and thought that could work.

We arrived at Clearfork Foodpark around 7 PM and it was perfect. I took our dogs, Abbey and Oliver, for a stroll while Rick checked out the menus and grabbed us some drinks. Then we tied the dogs to our picnic table and each headed to a different truck to grab our dinners. Rick had pulled pork sliders from Top Nosh and I opted for the ‘Texas Trash’ from LaCasa Azul. It was amazing. Definitely not a healthy option, but super tasty with Spanish rice, black beans, chicken, tortilla chips and a green sauce piled high in a paper bowl.

The food was great but the atmosphere stole the evening. The weather was beautiful, and the country music playing in the background (while not my usual choice) was a great complement to the laid back environment. Dogs and kids were playing, families laughing, couples were chatting. And it’s rare that Rick and I get to dine with our canine kids – a fun bonus. Experience #10 was definitely worth repeating, both the food truck park and the food truck cuisine. Only 30 new experiences to go!

#9: Learn to Grill

I consider myself a very liberated female. I balance a career and family, sharing equally in all financial and household responsibilities with my husband. We take turns with laundry, cooking, cleaning, doing yard work and tucking the kids into bed. Nothing in our house is deemed as man’s work or woman’s work (except for killing bugs – that I don’t do).

Yet, until recently, I had never touched “the grill.”  Partially because Rick has always done an amazing job preparing any food that needed grilling and partially because I’m intimidated by the big stainless steel box in the back yard with an attached gas tank and flames. Kind of seems like an explosion waiting to happen.

But the 40x40 project inspired me to face my fear and learn the art of grilling.  Luckily, Rick is a great and very patient teacher, although I admit he seemed apprehensive when I first brought up the idea. I think he secretly liked being the family grill master, but he agreed to entertain my curiosity. He taught me how to turn on the gas tank and burners, the difference between direct and indirect heat, how to use a meat thermometer and the art of flipping.

To my surprise, grilling is actually kind of fun. In fact, I may have gotten a bit carried away with it. In the past three days I have grilled six types of meat (burgers, hot dogs, chicken, pork tenderloin and salmon) and four vegetables (corn, squash, tomatoes and bell peppers).

I do wince when I turn on the burners and that first flame makes me jump back in fear, but the gas tank and fire now seem a little less scary. I’ve searched online for new recipes and techniques and tonight I grilled dinner from start to finish without any assistance.

I could really get into this newfound hobby from experience #9 – especially since the clean-up is such a breeze. Next up…a grilling party for friends. Bring on the recipe ideas!

#8: Kayak Tour of Chicago

My husband Rick and I recently had the chance to spend a relaxing weekend in Chicago. I’ve made several trips to the Windy City over the past year for work, but haven’t had much time to enjoy or explore the sights. So we were excited to piggyback a few days on another business trip for a little fun.

We spent two days being tourists – shopping on Michigan Avenue, enjoying the sights and sounds of Millennium Park, eating Giordano’s famous deep dish pizza and enjoying drinks at the Signature Room atop the John Hancock Tower. Overall, a wonderful (and much needed) weekend of fun and relaxation for a couple of overextended working parents.

But for both of us, the highlight of the trip was a kayaking tour along the Chicago River. We love the Chicago architecture and wanted to learn more about it but wanted to experience something different than the typical sightseeing tour boats. We spotted a kayaking tour while on a walk our first evening there and decided we had to add that to our agenda. And that’s when we found Urban Kayaks Chicago.  According to their website, they are native Chicagoans and avid adventurers, set out to create an experience that showcases their hometown in an amazing and unique way.

On our final night together in Chicago, we signed-up for a tandem kayak on their sunset tour. After a 20-minute intro/training, we and the other 15+ kayakers went on an adventure up and down the Chicago River. We saw the skyline from a new perspective, heard stories about the history of the river and the Chicago mobs, and quickly learned to paddle in synch to avoid colliding with the larger boats sailing down the river.

We spent about 90 minutes kayaking, stopping periodically to huddle with our fellow kayakers so our tour guide could explain our surroundings. At the furthest point out from base, the skies opened up to torrential downpours of rain, yet the tour continued. We’d paddle, then stop to hear stories from our guides, and paddle again amidst the rain. As long as there was no lightning or threat of severe weather, the tour continued.

And even with the downpour, we enjoyed the adventure. It was a great way to see the city from a different perspective. Experience #8 was fun and enlightening. 32 new experiences to go…

#7: Zip Line Park

Maya and Luca at the Park in March

A couple of months ago I was introduced to Trinity Forest Adventure Park by my sister-in-law and friend, Allyson, when we met there with our kids over Spring Break. I had never even heard of the concept but trusted Allyson as she always seems to be in the know about fun things to do.

Billed as a combination of a canopy tour, challenge course and zip line adventure, Trinity Forest consists of cargo nets, bridges, climbing features, balance beams and other features that allow guests to travel from one part of the course to another always attached through a lock-in harness system.

When we visited in March, I had lower back pain that left me as a spectator/ photographer, but it looked like so much fun that I’ve been wanting to go back ever since. So, a family trip on Mother’s Day sounded like the perfect mini-adventure!

My First Zip Line

The park features aerial courses at four levels ranging from the beginner yellow to challenging black. I opted to start with yellow as an orientation with hopes to try all four levels during the three hours we purchased. Since Maya, our eleven year old, had been through the park before, I paired up with her to learn the ropes. My husband, Rick, paired up with our seven year old, Luca, as everyone under eight must be accompanied by an adult.

The park was almost empty so we made it through the yellow course quickly with only a brief hesitation the first time I went on a zip line element. The zip lines were easy and fun, but it took a little getting used to hanging and pushing off with enough momentum to make it to the next platform. The other obstacles were fairly easy, just requiring a little balance and a conscious effort not to look down.

After yellow, one of the park workers suggested we skip green and blue and move straight to the black course. It was tempting and Maya was eager to take him up on it, but I decided baby steps might be better and convinced her we would just skip green and try the blue course. That was probably a good decision since she started feeling sick after the first element and had to be escorted off the course (not an easy feat when you’re attached to a wire about 30 feet up). Hot and maybe a little dehydrated, she eventually made it down and headed to a picnic table to rest and have some water.

Luca and Rick

Confident Maya was OK, I caught up with Luca and Rick who had just finished a green course. I was excited to advance to blue with Luca…but she decided green was too challenging and begged to move back to yellow. I was a little disappointed, but couldn’t say no. So, I got to do the beginner course AGAIN.  I was faster and more confident that time and so ready to move on afterward, but Luca was tired and ready to stop. Oh well, at least I tried and learned a little about the zip line and harness system. I’m eager to return (without kids) and tackle the black course. I won’t count that as a new 40x40 experience, but I do hope it will give me the challenge I was looking for. Plus, I hear it’s a great workout.

Experience #7 was not quite as expected, but how can I complain about an afternoon adventure with my awesome husband and kids? 33 new experiences to go…

#6: Fitness Boot Camp

While I have always been conscious of health and fitness, about four years ago I became much more serious about diet and exercise. In 2010 I started working with a personal trainer who, together with a low calorie diet, helped me get into the best shape of my life. I stuck with that regimen for a couple of years and then the business of life (and maybe my love for wine?) slowly moved me out of that healthy pattern.

I am making a commitment with 40x40 to get back to that place. And since I already have the self-discipline to make it to the gym on a regular basis, I decided the missing ingredient was something to take me out of my fitness comfort zone. So when Camp Gladiator (CG), a program several of my friends participate in, recently offered a Groupon, I gave it a try.

This was a BIG DEAL for me for a number of reasons:

1. I prefer to workout alone.

2. I typically associate workouts with the gym.

3. I’m a night owl. (5 AM workouts? Seriously??)

But 40x40, and the Groupon offer for a discounted 4-week camp, encouraged me to give it a try. And to accommodate my kids’ crazy evening activity schedules, I did opt for the 5 AM MWF camp.

Clean-up After "O-Course" Day

The first two weeks were better than expected. Somehow my internal clock woke me up before the 4:30 AM alarm went off most mornings. Once I made it to the parking lot where the outdoor camps are held, I actually enjoyed the workouts, found the camaraderie motivating and loved that the variety in workouts actually made me sore.  My body had grown accustomed to my regular gym routine, so that was something I hadn’t experienced in a long time. 

Unfortunately, the second half of the four weeks was wasted due to work travel and time commitments, but I decided the experience was positive enough to sign-up for a full year of camps. I’m only two months into it now, but I’ve committed to being there three days a week (before the break of dawn).

I love how CG mixes up the routines so you are constantly surprised and challenged. My favorite workout so far was obstacle course (O-Course) day, complete with tire pulls, firehose drills and jump roping. Yes, I could do without the burpees and impromptu “fit tests” with timed miles, but even those provide an opportunity to see progress. And I get so excited when my Fitbit show that I’m 50% to my steps and miles goals at 6 AM…6 AM!!…when I’m normally just waking up.

Experience #6 is still a work in progress, but I’m feeling great about it. 34 new experiences to go…