#12: Night at a Children's Hospital

The 40x40 project was intended to encourage me out of my comfort zone to try new things, meet new people and increase my overall knowledge. All of the experiences to date were fun opportunities to do just that, but this one is different. It certainly was not planned and definitely not fun, but (supporting my tagline above), it did somehow enrich my life, deepen my soul and reinforce my purpose.

Last week my daughter, Maya, dislocated and fractured her elbow while practicing at her cheer gym (ironically you can learn more about that in my recent tamale blog). She had an emergency reduction surgery the night of the accident to put her elbow back in place and a second surgery a few days later to insert a screw to correct the fracture. All went well, but they decided to keep her overnight to help control her pain. And that’s where my 40x40 experience comes in.

Certainly staying overnight at the hospital with a recovering child is something any mother would do and there is absolutely no place I would have been that night except by her side. But it was especially enlightening for me as a person who has built a career in patient experience. I work for The Beryl Institute, a thought leader and community of practice on improving patient experience in healthcare. While I build and promote resources to help our community improve the experiences of patients, families and caregivers, I’ve been blessed to have very few patient/family experiences myself. It’s amazing how your perspective changes when you’re sitting inside the hospital walls. So, for this 40x40 I’d like to take a different approach and share a few of the realizations I faced while caring for Maya.

• Patients (and those who love and care for them) are incredibly vulnerable in a healthcare setting. I think Maya and I are pretty confident in our regular routines, but we were a bit clueless at the hospital – even with simple things such as ordering meals and turning on the TV. More significantly, we were at the hands of the staff to know what medicines she should have, if her body was reacting as it should to the surgery and how to best control the pain. We had to trust the healthcare team. As a children’s hospital, I must acknowledge they had several things in place that helped Maya feel more comfortable. Volunteers brought her a stuffed lamb and they let her select from a fun collection of super soft blankets to use while there that she could also take home. The hospital even had a Build-a-Bear Workshop on site, which I believe was the key motivator in getting her walking around post-surgery.

• Healthcare workers are human. I think we often place doctors and nurses on pedestals in our minds assuming they should have perfect accuracy, bedside manners and responsiveness. While Maya had some great people caring for her, I was quickly reminded they were human. They had varied levels of experience, focus and relationship skills. As humans they also had their own lives that did have an impact on how they cared for my daughter – maybe stresses at home, conflict with co-workers or even their own health challenges. Regardless of how dedicated and professional, humans make mistakes. I came to appreciate all the checks and balances they implemented to help prevent that. At first I was a little disturbed by the redundant questions like “What is your name? Birthday? Any allergies?” But as I reminded myself the staff were each caring for multiple patients, I learned to appreciate their diligence to make sure everything matched up. That said, I do suggest they reconsider one phrase in their vernacular. From the time we registered for surgery until we left the next day, we had at least 10 people ask, “What are you here for?” That’s a perfectly fair question for someone showing up at the Emergency Department or having a random appointment at their physician’s office, but there is an expectation when you arrive somewhere for a scheduled surgery that they are expecting you and know why you’re there. I suggest a simple, “I see you are here for ______. Is that correct?” as an alternative as it would go a long way in giving patients confidence in their healthcare team.

• Patients need advocates. The vulnerability and realization that the staff treating Maya were human reinforced a point I hear a lot in my work – the idea that patients need advocates. A few years ago a co-worker’s husband was in the hospital and she refused to leave his side. As much as she respected the healthcare team caring for him, she realized no one had his best interest at heart as much as she did. She was there to be sure they gave him the right medicines, at the right time and in the right amounts. She kept a journal of his condition and symptoms to share with the doctor, and she was there to be sure he ate, had food choices he liked and any assistance he needed. After being in the hospital with Maya for just one night, I understood her point completely, and not just because Maya was 11. If I’m ever in the hospital, or my husband, parents or sister are, I hope we’ll have the ability to have a personal advocate by our side.

Maya was lucky that her hospital stay was short and she’s on the road to recovery. Being with her that night did enrich my life by giving me a more personal reflection on something I speak to everyday. And that reinforces my purpose, both as a mom caring for a child and a professional passionate about making the healthcare experience the best it can be for everyone. 

Experience #12 taught me lots, but I hope and pray the next 28 get back to planned fun, adventure and new encounters.

#11: Learn to Make Tamales

Tamale in Process

Learning to make tamales was on my original list for the 40x40 project. I love them but have always heard what a labor of love they are to make. I wanted to experience that for myself, so my husband and I signed up for a tamale class at Central Market.

We dropped the kids off for open tumbling at their cheer gym and were excited to enjoy a mini date at the cooking school. Once we got there, washed up and put on our aprons, the instructors introduced themselves and asked all of the participants to share why they joined the class. My answer was simple, “I’ve just always wanted to learn how to make tamales.”  The head instructor chuckled and responded, “Well, you’ll never want to make them again after this. They’re so not worth all of the effort.”

And with that, my enthusiasm was deflated. In my head I was thinking, “Can we please have our $120 back?” Seriously, I have no problem putting in a little effort for great food, but if that’s the instructor’s attitude, why do they even offer the class?

Anyway, I brushed it off and focused on learning the proper way to lay the corn husks, press the masa and add the chicken and pork mixtures. I was a little disappointed that much of the pre-work was already done since I really was hoping for the made-from-scratch experience, but I guess that was necessary given the two-hour time frame.

Rick enjoying the wine
and borracho beans

Once we prepared the tamales and the instructor took them to the steamer, the class gathered around a table where we were served wine and an appetizer of borracho beans. We listened to the teachers describe how they made the beans. Again, that was a little disappointing since I was expecting a hands-on class, but the flavors were so amazing that I quickly got caught up in reading the recipe and thinking about how I could replicate the taste at home…and that’s when the entire night changed.

I pulled out my phone and noticed a missed call and voicemail from the cheer gym. Maya had an accident on the trampoline. Of course as a parent there’s always an initial panic when you hear something like that, but in all honesty, I wasn’t overly concerned. Maya is a bit accident-prone and this wasn’t the first time we were contacted about an incident at cheer. I encouraged Rick to stay at the cooking school while I ran over to check things out.

Maya's disfigured arm...ouch!

It turned out to be a much bigger deal than I expected. Maya had actually dislocated and fractured her elbow. Needless to say I never made it back to tamale class. Instead we rushed from an urgent care clinic to Cook Children’s Hospital in downtown Fort Worth where at about 1 AM Maya had the first of several surgeries to repair her elbow.

Rick stayed thru the end of the class since he was stranded there without a car and met up with us on the way downtown. At least he was able to bring home samples from the class and I did get to try one of the tamales the next day.

Experience #11 definitely did not go as planned. I did learn a little and the tamales were good, but in hindsight I wish we had stayed home and had a family movie night on the couch that evening. It could have saved a lot of pain, drama and expense.

#10: Dinner at a Food Truck Park

I remember hearing about the emergence of food trucks a few years ago from a hip co-worker. I’m pretty sure I scrunched up my nose as I had always thought of food trucks as the school cafeteria equivalent for construction workers. But she assured me that had changed…food trucks had become a cool way for gourmet entrepreneurs to test concepts. Three years later my hubby, who works in downtown Dallas, enjoys walking to Clyde Warren Park or Winspear at least once a week with coworkers to go to “the trucks”.

I watched the food truck trend solidify in TV shows and movies and even started seeing food truck reviews in newspapers and magazines. As excited as I was by the cultural shift, my crazy work and family life commitments prevented me from partaking in the experience…until recently.

 My husband and I had driven to Houston with our two dogs to drop our kids off at my parents for a week of summer fun. We arrived back in DFW around 7PM on a Sunday evening, starving but unsure where we could grab dinner with two dogs in tow. I remembered seeing a friend’s Facebook post about an evening at a FW foodtruck park and thought that could work.

We arrived at Clearfork Foodpark around 7 PM and it was perfect. I took our dogs, Abbey and Oliver, for a stroll while Rick checked out the menus and grabbed us some drinks. Then we tied the dogs to our picnic table and each headed to a different truck to grab our dinners. Rick had pulled pork sliders from Top Nosh and I opted for the ‘Texas Trash’ from LaCasa Azul. It was amazing. Definitely not a healthy option, but super tasty with Spanish rice, black beans, chicken, tortilla chips and a green sauce piled high in a paper bowl.

The food was great but the atmosphere stole the evening. The weather was beautiful, and the country music playing in the background (while not my usual choice) was a great complement to the laid back environment. Dogs and kids were playing, families laughing, couples were chatting. And it’s rare that Rick and I get to dine with our canine kids – a fun bonus. Experience #10 was definitely worth repeating, both the food truck park and the food truck cuisine. Only 30 new experiences to go!